Erica Article 2
As I sat back and went through my Facebook page one day, I noticed two memes that stood out to me, one was of a black girl and her body had a quote painted on it, “Black men we got your back, can y’all have ours too?” The other one said, “Most women don’t have a problem being submissive or obeying their men. The problem is most men weren’t taught properly how 2 lead.” And of course black women commented and loved these two memes. And my initial thought was, there was only a few decades that black men stood up for us.
I truly believe that in order to understand where we are today we must learn how we got here through a historical lens. So, to understand the Africans born in American in this country’s history (male and female), we must start with the roots and for us, its slavery. No matter how we wish to get away from slavery we must realize slavery and how its aftereffects molded the black family (man and woman). Just as a mother’s bond with her child starts at the moment of conception, the moment of conception for us here in America is slavery and there is no escaping that conclusion. One thing we must realize is that we cannot run from our past no matter how dirty it is. WE must embrace it learn from it in order to grow and make change.
So in 1619, the first black man was brought over here from Africa. He was shackled, beaten, raped (buck breaking) and starved. The black woman was brought over here, she watched these things take place as well as had them happening to her. The trust between these two (black man and woman) was shattered because the man could not protect himself nor could he protect her from the atrocities that were about to take place. Over decades the idea of a man leading and protecting was inconceivable. It was something that was not shown between the two genders. And truthfully we were not around one another long enough to build the structure of protection with one another.
The black man had to stand by as the woman that he loved got raped by her slave master. As a man, I could not imagine how tough it was to allow another man to enter the womb of the woman that he loved. He could not protect her without repercussions (including death). Then, watching the woman that you have built an intimate connection with, give birth to your child and having this child sold off as property, I could imagine growing so immune to the situation that we as a people learned not to get attached to one another due to a system that was designed to keep us apart.
So let’s fast forward us to the Civil Rights Movement when the black men decided to come together to build organizations (The Black Panther Party, Gangs etc.) that protected the women and children and what happened to them? They were infiltrated (COINTELPRO) and truthfully the number one thing the government used to break the black man down was the black woman, because they knew that that was the only way to defeat a black man. The war on drugs was put into our community and that took the fathers out of our home the men out of our communities and left our communities to be taken care of by women. In addition to that the prison industrial complex was unleashed along with targeted practices within the school systems around the nation to miseducate black children (with black boys being labeled as behavior problems and sent to special education) creating more division within the community. And truthfully ladies, we can raise a good man but we cannot raise a great one because we cannot teach a young boy how to be a man. Partly, because some of us lack the respect a woman should have for a man. And for the men that did not fall prey to the war on drugs, integration took them out of our neighborhoods leaving some of our boys with no man to look up to.
So, now what we see is a generation of black men that women feel as though are not equipped to protect or lead us. All I ask is ladies before we come down on black men, let’s get to the root reason as to why there is such a divide between us. We have to realize the obstacles that are put in place to keep black men down. We often look at our white counterpart, see the relationship and the things they have with their male counterpart and hold our men accountable to the same standards not once giving account to the system that was built to keep them enslaved. It is our duty to help build them and give them a safe haven from these things, not question why they cannot obtain the things white males have in this country. And if we wish to have the same relationships as them and the same material things, instead of tearing them apart with memes and putting negative spirits in the air with our words. Let’s come together to help them build. Let’s stop pointing the finger at one another. We are both mistreated by one other, we both have it hard when it comes to this system but it is both of our jobs to put the strife aside and build.
I truly believe that in order to understand where we are today we must learn how we got here through a historical lens. So, to understand the Africans born in American in this country’s history (male and female), we must start with the roots and for us, its slavery. No matter how we wish to get away from slavery we must realize slavery and how its aftereffects molded the black family (man and woman). Just as a mother’s bond with her child starts at the moment of conception, the moment of conception for us here in America is slavery and there is no escaping that conclusion. One thing we must realize is that we cannot run from our past no matter how dirty it is. WE must embrace it learn from it in order to grow and make change.
So in 1619, the first black man was brought over here from Africa. He was shackled, beaten, raped (buck breaking) and starved. The black woman was brought over here, she watched these things take place as well as had them happening to her. The trust between these two (black man and woman) was shattered because the man could not protect himself nor could he protect her from the atrocities that were about to take place. Over decades the idea of a man leading and protecting was inconceivable. It was something that was not shown between the two genders. And truthfully we were not around one another long enough to build the structure of protection with one another.
The black man had to stand by as the woman that he loved got raped by her slave master. As a man, I could not imagine how tough it was to allow another man to enter the womb of the woman that he loved. He could not protect her without repercussions (including death). Then, watching the woman that you have built an intimate connection with, give birth to your child and having this child sold off as property, I could imagine growing so immune to the situation that we as a people learned not to get attached to one another due to a system that was designed to keep us apart.
So let’s fast forward us to the Civil Rights Movement when the black men decided to come together to build organizations (The Black Panther Party, Gangs etc.) that protected the women and children and what happened to them? They were infiltrated (COINTELPRO) and truthfully the number one thing the government used to break the black man down was the black woman, because they knew that that was the only way to defeat a black man. The war on drugs was put into our community and that took the fathers out of our home the men out of our communities and left our communities to be taken care of by women. In addition to that the prison industrial complex was unleashed along with targeted practices within the school systems around the nation to miseducate black children (with black boys being labeled as behavior problems and sent to special education) creating more division within the community. And truthfully ladies, we can raise a good man but we cannot raise a great one because we cannot teach a young boy how to be a man. Partly, because some of us lack the respect a woman should have for a man. And for the men that did not fall prey to the war on drugs, integration took them out of our neighborhoods leaving some of our boys with no man to look up to.
So, now what we see is a generation of black men that women feel as though are not equipped to protect or lead us. All I ask is ladies before we come down on black men, let’s get to the root reason as to why there is such a divide between us. We have to realize the obstacles that are put in place to keep black men down. We often look at our white counterpart, see the relationship and the things they have with their male counterpart and hold our men accountable to the same standards not once giving account to the system that was built to keep them enslaved. It is our duty to help build them and give them a safe haven from these things, not question why they cannot obtain the things white males have in this country. And if we wish to have the same relationships as them and the same material things, instead of tearing them apart with memes and putting negative spirits in the air with our words. Let’s come together to help them build. Let’s stop pointing the finger at one another. We are both mistreated by one other, we both have it hard when it comes to this system but it is both of our jobs to put the strife aside and build.
Erica L. Tolbert
